Top 5

Top 5: Bromances In Video Games

As I draw towards the end of Final Fantasy XV and get myself into review mode, something came to mind. The thing that makes this game amazing is the story of four bros out to conquer the world. Sure, our villain’s motivations may be unclear, and I’m not really sure what Reevus is doing here at all, but Noctis, Ignis, Prompto, and Gladiolus are what make the game work. So I’ve taken it upon myself to compile my list of the top five bromances in video games.

5. Marcus and Dom (Gears of War Series)4765591-vecnwd4olhhcpln7hikl

Although Marcus may not have his best pal Dom around any more int Gears of War 4, the original trilogy starts with Dom getting his bro out of an old prison cell. Sure, it may be to go fight the Locust Horde, but it’s still a nice gesture. Over the course of three games the Gears series paints a picture of a powerful friendship between Marcus and Dom and even beyond their bond, Gears is a game about bros in general. I’m sure you’ve all got fond memories of chainsawing Locust grubs as Marcus, Dom, Cole, and Baird with your pals, for that Marcus and Dom get number 5.

4.Drake and Sully (Uncharted Series)maxresdefault1

At the start of Uncharted the relationship between everyone’s favorite loveable douchebag Nate Drake and cigar-chomping pilot Victor Sullivan may seem like more of a mentor-mentee scenario, and in many ways it is. However, over the course of 4 games, I think it becomes evident through the many quips and dangerous scenarios Drake pulls Sully back into over the years, that deep down they’re just two bros having a great time exploring ancient ruins, as bros due. Drake and Sully are number 4.

3. Ratchet and Clankratchetclank

Ratchet was just a Lombax dreaming of being a real hero when a tiny little robot defect crashed into his life and became his best bro. With Clank by his side, Ratchet fulfilled his dream of becoming a galactic ranger defeated the evil Dr. Nefarious time and time again and even discovered more of his kind. Not to mention that excellent reboot and not so great film. Ratchet and his metallic bro Clank are number 3.

2. Jak and Daxter2274211-jakdaxter04_35706_screen

Before Naughty Dog created Drake and Sully the Dev’s created an even more memorable gaming bromance with Jak and Daxter. Daxter is the goofy loudmouth sidekick of our mute hero Jak and even being turned into an ocelot couldn’t stop him from helping Jak learn about the precursors and eventually make his way to the bleak future of Jak II. While Jak can’t exactly quip back in the first game until he gets over that whole mute thing. Daxter does a good enough job of talking for the both of them all while having his bros back. Naughty Dog’s original bromance is number 2.

 

1.Noctis, Ignis, Prompto, and Gladiolusffxv-pax-shot-1

Number one won’t come as much of a surprise, you knew where this was going. It was Final Fantasy XV that got me thinking of gaming Bromance in the first place. Noctis and his pals through their journey across Insomnia go through more than just the fun road trip aspects of a brocation. They tell a story that ends up being more about the friendship they all share, maybe that’s because the games main story is a confusing mess, but just the same, Noctis, Ignis, Prompto, and Gladiolus are my number 1 bromance in video games.

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Top 5

Top 5: Marvel Characters We Want In Marvel Vs. Capcom 4

I’m sure you’ve heard the news by now. It would seem Marvel Vs. Capcom 4 is real and may be announced as early as this weekend’s PSX event. What you may not have heard is that Marvel wants all X-men and Marvel characters that fall under Fox’s movie rights umbrella out to make way for characters in Marvel’s cinematic universe.

Characters like Rocket Racoon and Dr.Strange will know doubt make a return, but you can kiss Wolverine, Magneto, and Dr. Doom goodbye. For this top 5 we’ll take a look at characters that could take the place of Marvel’s Mutants.

It’s worth noting I won’t be listing any characters that have been in previous MVC games, let’s just assume they’re a given.

5. Star-Lord 

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Chris Pratt’s portrayal of Peter Quill aka Star-Lord, the charismatic leader of the Guardians of the Galaxy seems like a no brainer. Slapping Pratt’s likeness onto something is a selling point in of itself and Star-Lord’s dual energy pistol wielding could feel similar to Deadpool’s play since he’s more than likely getting the ax.

4.Black Panther

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Black Panther made his cinematic debut in Captain America Civil War and Chadwick Boseman is set to reprise the role in a 2018 solo film. It only makes sense to familiarize the public with the character a bit more, and his feral claw attacks would make a great replacement for Wolverine.

3. Black Bolt

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For comic book fans, Black Bolt is a familiar name. He’s part of the Inhuman royal family possesses enhanced strength and agility as well as a unique sonic scream ability. More important, however, than his combat prowess is the reasons for Marvel to get the character out in the public eye. They’ve recently announced an Inhumans Tv show, as well as a movie somewhere down the line, and no Inhuman is more noteworthy than Black Bolt.

2. Vision

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For those not up on your Marvel films, Vision was introduced in Avengers Age of Ultron. The Android is powered by the mind gem one of the infinity stones used to power Thanos Infinity Gauntlet, and if that was confusing to you, then I guess you don’t read a whole lot of comics. Vision’s move set could easily be forged into a replacement for Magneto who’s a fan favorite.

1.Miles Morales (Spider-man)

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So this last one may be a bit of a stretch, and I know Spider-man has already appeared in Marvel Vs. Capcom but I have Miles in mind as a whole diffrent character.I’m not just looking for a skin of Mile’s Spider-man suit. He should play like a faster younger Spidey, with a higher skill ceiling than Peter Parker for veteran players, and sure, that would prevent someone like me who sucks at fighting games from playing, but I’m looking out for you guys.

 

 

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Top 5

Top 5: Haunted Places in Video Games

It feels like forever since I last threw one of these lists together. Well, with it being Halloween and all I figured no time like the present. This list started as the top 5 haunted mansions, but that’s thinking too small, so I’ll just go for haunted in general. So let’s get Spooky with the top 5 haunted places in gaming.

5. Luigi’s Mansionluigis_mansion_location

While it may not be particularly “scary,” the house inherited by Mario’s dimwitted brother in one of my favorite Gamecube titles is absolutely haunted. The titular mansion is great for a few reasons, it’s full ghosts looking to scare the pants off an unsuspecting Toad, It’s where Mario is being held captive for a nice change of pace, oh and it finally gave Luigi a chance at the spotlight. Let’s face it we all know he’s the superior character. Luigi’s Mansion is number 5.

4. Blackwood Pines ( Until Dawn)maxresdefault4

Good old Blackwood Pines has everything you want in a Horror setting, fresh mountain air, deranged psychopath, it’s abandoned sanatorium adjacent, and it also might be on some kind of ancient Indian burial ground. Couple that with the mysterious death of years past and the group of horny teenagers staying there and you’ve got the makings of an 80’s slasher classic. Maybe I’m a little biased as I am currently doing an endurance run of the game. Either way, Blackwood Pines is number 4.

3. The USG Ishimura (Dead Space)usg_ishimura_full_profile

2008’s Dead Space spun the horror setting on its head, by setting it not in a creepy old mansion but aboard a “Planet Cracker” class space vessel, The USG Ishimura, aptly dubbed a planet cracker because, well, it cracks planets. The ship, however, became host to an alien artifact called  “The Marker” which spread a horrible alien virus throughout the ships crew turning most of them into vicious Necromorphs. So things were left to our space engineer protagonist Isacc to sever some limbs and fight for survival. The Ishimura is number 3.

2. Castle Dracula (Castlevania Series)

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While not so much a horror game the Castlevania games do play host to one of the most haunted settings in movies and games alike, Castle Dracula. Over the years Drac’s castle has played host to many a Bellmont as well as his own son Alucard. In that time everyone’s favorite vampire lord has had plenty of practice at the placement of mermen, skeleton soldiers, and hidden wall meat. For all his hard work, Castle Dracula is number 2.

1. The Spencer Mansion (Resident Evil)maxresdefault5

Ah, the Spencer Mansion. When horror gaming classics come to mind, I always think Resident Evil, and no setting in the series is more memorable than the home of Oswell E. Spencer. When S.T.A.R.S. agents arrived at the mansion, during the t-virus outbreak in Resident Evil, it was already filled with zombies and monsters. On top of the zombies it had one crazy floor plan, and the locking mechanisms of a deranged lunatic, how many god damn cranks do you want me to carry around!? The Mansion of one Oswell E. Spencer is number 1.

Thanks for hanging around for the list, follow me to keep up with news, reviews, and more nonsense like this. Happy Halloween!

 

 

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Top 5

Top Five: AI Characters In Games

Well, here we are again. What started as a time killer has become something I somehow enjoy. That’s right were putting together another one of these godforsaken lists. Movies like Terminator have taught us all that inevitably humans desire to make highly powerful artificial intelligence will ultimately result in our destruction. From heroic robots like the Blue Bomber to more malevolent machines like System Shock’s Shodan, robots have a huge presence in video games. So, without further ado, let’s get into my top five AI characters in games.

5.Cortana(Halo Series)maxresdefault1

Who could forget Cortana? Our AI companion plugged into the Master Chief’s head at the start of Halo Combat Evolved and has been with us ever since. A character who often goes under appreciated let’s face it Chief’s stubborn soldier of fortune attitude doesn’t go very far on its own. Let’s try and remember that Cortana was so popular that she became Microsoft’s answer to Siri, and try to forget all the creepy flirtation between her and Chief in Halo 4. Cortana is number five.

4.Robo(Chrono Trigger)Robo

Robo holds a special place for me as a big JRPG fan. Robo laid dormant after the apocalypse in AD 1999; he was repaired by Lucca in AD 2300. After this he joins Lucca, Chrono and the rest of the party. Although Robo is incapable of using magic, he can mimic some magical abilities using his tech. Through several side quests, Robo can discover his past which makes for some of the best storytelling in Chrono Trigger, as well as JRPG’s in general. Robo is number four.

 

 

 

 

3.D0g(Half-Life series)Dog_Alyx_BME

Ah sweet D0g, he really is mans best freind. D0g is the massive robot owned by Alyx Vance in the Half-Life series. D0g’s character is brillant in combining a hulking mech with the love and loyalty of a canine. Although his time with the protagonist is short you find yourself thinking of him hours later. Back in 2008 D0g was recieved as one of the best robot and sidekick character in video games. For that he gets number three.

2.Mega ManPrint

That’s right, it’s the Blue Bomber himself. Originally created to be a lab assistant for Dr. Light, the robot known as Rock should’ve had a peaceful existense. Unfortunatly Dr. Light’s lab assitant Dr. Wily programmed all of lights other robots for evil so Mega Man was turned into a combat unit. The rest is history, that power stealing little blue bot is number two.

1.GLaDOS (Portal) 1maxresdefault2

GlaDOS or Genetic Lifeform and Disk Operating System is the main antagonist of Portal. When Portal begins GLaDOS is the only voice in the darkness, the only one to trust. Your relationship gets a little shaky when the AI villian leads you into live turret fire but it’s probably the hole trying to burn you alive thing that makes Chell rethink things. I don’t even need to put any quotes here because everyone knows that it’s the writing behind GLaDOS that puts that evil AI in at number one.

Honorable mention: Wheatly (Portal 2)

With only five spots I couldn’t justify ranking multiple characters from the same series, however, Wheatly deserves an honorable mention at the very least. The team behind Portal showed their talent for writing yet again with the little British AI orb. Wheatly is so profoundly dumb that once he has access to all of GLaDOS power over the Apreture Science facility he immediatly goes mad with power. Wheatly’s tale is a tragic one though. We see in his final scene, floating in space not only was he a true villian but he relizes that and even feels bad about it. Wheatly may not have trumped GLaDOS but he’s still a memorable AI.

Thanks, as always for dropping by to read. Follow me, I’ll have more news, reviews, and even the occasional top five!

 

 

 

 

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Top 5

Top 5: Video Game Swords

Ah, crap, here we are again. I’m sitting on a few games and won’t be review ready for a few more days. In the meantime, I thought I could satiate the masses with some more of this buzz feed bullshit. That’s right it’s time for another top 5.

So swords are pretty neat. Just a big hunk of pointy metal, in the real world they’re typically pretty boring. In video games, however, they’re over the top monstrosities of death. So let’s get into my top 5 swords in video games.

5. Z-Saber ( Megaman X):

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The Z-Saber is a lightsaber like energy sword used by Zero in the Megaman X series. As far as swords typically go the whole “energy sword” thing has been done to death, but we can give Zero some credit for doing it while it was still cool. It’s not so much the design of the weapon itself but the way it has become such an iconic part of the character that puts the Z-Saber in at number five.

 

4. Rebellion ( Devil May Cry):

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In the Devil May Cry series, Dante wields a massive Claymore by the name of Rebellion. All though it looks pretty standard save for the skulls and what not, this magical blade is Dante’s only keepsake from his father, Sparda. The Sword was otherwise ordinary until Dante’s blood awakened its magic potential. This magic demon blade is number four.

3. Brotherhood (Final Fantasy 10)

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Final Fantasy 10’s protagonist Tidus, lucks into a pretty badass blade by the name of Brotherhood.Given to him by his pal Wakka the night before the party sets out from Besaid village. It was originally a gift for Wakka’s brother, Chappu. Chappu died before ever using it. Beyond it’s back story, the look of Brotherhood is what sets it apart. Originally designed to show off the graphical capabilities of the PS2, the blade appears to be made of pure water; you can even see bubbles rising to the surface in combat. For moving back story and visual WOW, Brotherhood wins number three.

 

 2. Crissaegrim (Castlevania Symphony Of The Night):

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We all know the old story, Father and son kill Dracula, Father uses remains of an ancient weapon to forge a blade of pure death. After Alucard and Simon had defeated Dracula, Alucard returned to his old tomb; There he found the remains of his father’s old weapon, the Vampire Killer. By combing these remains with that of Glaciem and Igneas, the elemental swords of the underworld. The blade kept traits from all three, From vampire killer, it gained the ability to paralyze enemies, from Glaciem it acquired the icy  capability to drain the life, and from Igneas, a fiery touch that can melt any armor. If that all sounds badass that’s because it is, Crissaegrim is number two.

1.The Master Sword ( The Legend of Zelda):

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You knew it was coming and sure I can admit, there are swords more visually stunning and far more powerful than that of the Master Sword. I dare you to name a more iconic one, though. The blade of evil’s bane is number one, not because it’s flashy or all ending but because it’s one of those few pieces of video game history that even those who don’t play video games may know about. Now if only we could make them realize that Zelda is a girl. The number one video game sword of all time is Link’s trusty MAster Sword, the blade of evils bane.

Thanks for reading, follow me for more nonsense articals as well as news and reviews.

 

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Top 5

Top 5: Most Patriotic characters in video games

Well, it’s almost the Fourth of July, the most American holiday there is. Staying in the spirit of it all, I’ve decided to make another one of these godforsaken lists. That’s right this blog is turning into one of those bullshit BuzzFeed things, I never meant for it to come to this but I have to keep busy in between actually reviewing games. So count down with me, if you will, my top five most red white and blue blooded characters in games.

5. B.J. Blacscowiz-Wolfenstein

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B.J. made his Premier blasting Nazi’s back in 1981 in “Castle Wolfenstein”.  As one of the first and more recognizable protagonists of the FPS genre. He even made a comeback in the far more recent “Wolfenstein: The New Order”. The Nazi-crushing Blacscowiz comes in at number five.

 

 

4. Duke Nukem

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Duke is the patriot we all wish we could be. You can find him wherever gorgeous woman are being held hostage by alien menace. Duke always flying the red white and blue with a big gun in hand, and a babe on his arm. In Duke Nukem Forever he even announces he’ll be running for president. The cigar-chomping hero clocks in at number four.

3. Bill “Mad Dog” Rizer and Lance “Scorpion” Bean-Contra

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In the arcade version of “Contra” released in 1987, Bill and Lance are running and gunning their way through terrorist scum. That is just about the most American thing a man can do. The game was later made available for NES in 88 and had the guys fighting aliens rather than terrorists, however, if Independence day taught me anything it’s that beings from outer space are one of the biggest threats to the American way.

2. Colonel William F. Guile-Street Fighter 

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First appearing in Street Fighter II, Guile was actually designed with appealing to an American audience in mind. The U.S. airman is an apparent patriot. Consistently dressed in Military fatigues with an American flag tattoo on each arm, Guile fights for truth justice and the American way. Although Capcom never canonized his first name or military ranking, it’ll always be true in my heart. The colonel gets number two.

1. Liberty Prime-Fallout

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Here we are the number one slot, who could possibly get the coveted position you ask? Nonother than Liberty Prime. Prime first appeared in Fallout 3 and later on in Fallout 4 as Liberty Prime Mark II. This forty foot tall feat of American engineering is about as Patriotic as it gets The Brotherhood of Steel got this guy up and running and spouting patriotic phrases as he lobs Nukes like a touchdown pass. The most American robot in games comes in at number one.

Thanks for stopping into read and happy early Fourth! If you feel I’ve left anyone more deserving out be sure to let me know in the comments.

 

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Top 5

Top 5 Worst Dads in video games

Dads are important, Without them, you wouldn’t be the person you are. That’s why this fathers day I’ve decided to compile a list of the shitiest dads from across the video game universe. So this father’s day treat your dad to dinner and be happy he’s not one of these guys.

5: Jecht (Final Fantasy X)

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I could have pulled a bad parent from pretty much any Final Fantasy game, but Jecht, the father of FFX protagonist Tidus is about as bad as they get. So most of what we know about Jecht is from flashbacks, so maybe it’s a bit of a one-sided story, that being said, Jecht is an alcoholic for sure. In addition to the boozing that whole, turning into a sea monster and destroying Spira thing doesn’t help either. Even this alcoholic Monster Squid is only Number five on the list, let’s keep going.

 

4: Ness’ dad (EarthBound)

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In EarthBound for the NES, the main protagonist Ness has a father who is so shitty the only way we ever interact with him is over the phone. Granted he manages our finances and saves our progress, but a boy needs a father, not an accountant. The only other information ever provided about this illusive man is that he works in “the hamburger business” and apparently he owes the neighbors a significant sum of money. I wouldn’t be surprised to learn he’s skimming off the top of our battle earnings. Ness’ crappy dad clocks in at number four.

3: Ryotaro Dojima (Persona 4)

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Ryotaro Dojima is your guardian in Persona 4. While he’s only the uncle to the protagonist, he is a father to your eight-year-old cousin Nanako and an awful one at that. Dojima spends most of his time at the police station doing detective work, so one might argue it’s excusable that he leaves Nanako alone often, but this little girl runs the household for him. Let’s also not forget the apparent child endangerment going on throughout most of the game. It would seem Dojima is more than a shitty parent, He’s also a particularly awful detective, as the killer of this murder mystery is invited to your house for dinner no less than five times throughout the course of the game. For poor detective work and reckless child endangerment, the number three spot goes to Ryotaro Dojima.

2: Bowser (Super Mario series)

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Mario’s arch nemesis the King Koopa Bowser has a little tyke know as Bowser Jr. The man has a one track mind and is so obsessed with kidnapping Princess Peach he even convinced the poor kids she’s his mom. In Super Mario Sunshine, Bowser Jr. is so brainwashed by his father that he masquerades as Mario in an attempt to get him locked up so he can kidnap his “mother” Princess Peach. Brainwashing and flat out lying to your child gets you the number two spot on the list.

1: The King of all Cosmos ( Katamari series)

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The number one spot on my list goes to worst dad I know, the King of all Cosmos. When the world needs a Katamari rolled up and tossed into the sky as a planet, star, galaxy, or whatever else one might become, the king calls on his son the prince. That poor little guy works so hard rolling up everything he can find, sometimes his cousins. It’s never good enough for the King, though, he berates you all the way through. I’ve never once walked away from a Katamari game feeling like I’ve made dad proud. For that look of rage in his eyes whenever I fail a mission, the number one spot goes to the King of all Cosmos.

Honorable mention: Kratos (God of War)

In the first look at the new God Of War coming to PS4, we met the son of Kratos. Now I can’t say what kind of dad he’ll be, but if he handles it like anything else in his life, he’s sure to be terrible at it. For that, my favorite God killer gets a shoutout.

Thanks for sticking it out until the end. Sound off about your horrible father in the comments and follow me for reviews and more nonsense like this.

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